Everdearest Nunu,
It has been a crazy 5 days without you. I've composed many letters to you (in my head surely) during that course of time, wondering how you were doing, what have you eaten, what time you went to sleep, whether you were a nuisance to your caretakers with you weak bladder, what c*ap you watched on TV, what language you picked up from your new and older friends in the kampung, etcetera etcetera.
It has been a crazy 5 days without you. I've composed many letters to you (in my head surely) during that course of time, wondering how you were doing, what have you eaten, what time you went to sleep, whether you were a nuisance to your caretakers with you weak bladder, what c*ap you watched on TV, what language you picked up from your new and older friends in the kampung, etcetera etcetera.
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Don't worry Ma, I'll be good, No, YOU take care,,, |
It's crazy, coz I felt happy and sad at the same time to see you so excited to leave me with you Mak and chanting with the boys that the train was coming. It's insanely heart breaking, coz one moment I couldn't wait to pack you up and send you away for my much needed air, (and of course, for that business trip) another moment I felt like a total wreck when I saw you off on the train.
Though the liberation of not having a to do toilet duty was a welcoming relief , I do get occasionally swept up by my own emotions and guilt of abandoning you for so long. I know mothers who wouldn't even consider spending a night without their children, but me, I think I've developed a thick skin and even a thicker heart. But trust me, child, it was such a difficult decision for me to make, and I'm doing all this for your sake and hopefully when you're old enough to read this, you'll understand why mothers abandon their kids sometimes.
I have a feeling sometimes that we might be sending telepathic signals to each other during this separation, coz I know you think of me too at times although you're busy having a good time with your foster family, and I get mental images of you and flashes of your grin even when I was supposed to be focusing on what the speaker was saying on stage.
And when we chatted over the phone, I love the fact that the thing you missed most is not being able to spend some good quality time in front of the tv with me to watch your new favourite Indon show, Sulaiman.
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| We're just a phone call away, right Ma? |
Yeah, I'm beginning to accept the fact that they are a part of our family too, simply because you are so loved and received by them. Although I witnessed in horror how you gave your abang a good smack on the forehead for not listening to you, you lil tiger you. Ah well, siblings do that to each other right?
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| I'm not faking this big wide grin, Ma |
So today's Monday and the fun for both of us is over. I'll be fetching you in Alor Setar in a while. Do understand that with the current weather condition, our plan to go swimming in Sungai Petani will have to be postponed to another day, alright? We'll think of other ways to have fun and make up with the time lost during this brief separation. Watch 'Sulaiman', perhaps.
Can't wait to see you babe.
XOXO,
Momma.
9 comments:
so sweeeetttttt! awat nunu kena tinggai?
ish dah lupa perasaannya kena tinggal anak lama2 ni.
selamat kembali bersama! :)
Awwww, I'm touched by your candor.
Yeah, it's hard to leave your little one, but sometimes it is to both your benefits.
Have fun catching up with one another!
Kisses to Nunu!
leaving your kid behind is never an easy thing. you oughta be proud of yourself to be willing to make such a huge sacrifice. and one day i'm sure she'll realise what huge sacrifices they are for you!!
arina, hihi it's been a while since you last went on a trip w/o the kids right? but i bet it was even harder if we're in different countries like you experienced. merana jiwa...
theta, tqtq babe. yup a mom got to do what a mom got to do, let someone else do the mothering for a while!
babybooned, sigh, i won't say i'm proud of myself, just the fact that both of us survived and nobody cried themselves to sleep
I had to leave Maira once for 3 weeks when she was 3 months old. I stared at her pic in my mobile every night and every morning... sometimes with tears. I even wanted to make an earlier trip home, almost abandoning my dream of going to scotland (we were in london at the time and was going to scotland at the end of the trip). When i voiced my intention, hubby casually said, "Ingat dekat ke?" Hehehe...
Nunu looks so grown up in the photos here. Dah besar dah...hehehe...nanti kejap lagi ada boyfren lak.
Yeah, leaving your kids is sometimes such a dilema. Due to the nature of my previous job, I had to work outstation a lot, esepcially weekends for events and such. Huh, sedihnya bile call rumah, anak2 dok tanya..when are you coming home? We miss you!!!
Wan kata muka Nunu macam muka Anne masa kecik2 dulu.. tk sabar nak tunggu Nunu besar.
Bulan depan balik terengganu tak?
nin, sampai eh hati you tinggal maira punya lah jauh! i think if my mind wasn't occupied with work, i'd be like you too
along, jgn memain, skarang pun ramai boipren tau, keliling pinggang. and ugh thankfully i don't have to leave nunu that often like you had to.
ucue, hihi ada lah sikit iras2 muka tu. yup! insya allah kita jumpa kat 'ganu!
I seriously feel for you Anne. I'm one of those with thick heart too. But wat to do, besides a mom, i thk i'm still an individual who needs a time off once in a while - more like dont have a choice and cant just goyang kaki and expect food on the table.. sigh..
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