ABUNDANCE

I am, by definition, a perfect melancholic, the quiet thinker, the sensitive pessimist, the critical analyst, the socially inept. For years, I tried to break free from my true character, thinking that I can fake my way through by appearing different from who I really was (don't we all go through that phase?).

In my search for understanding oneself, I have found the answers to my questions in an insightful book titled 'Personality Plus', where I learnt to embrace this personality which I thought could be crippling me to move forward. I found that I cannot change myself overnight, but I can capitalize on the strength of my personality and correct the weaknesses.

The best thing is, not only did I gain so much through self-acceptance (something that I've been struggling with all my life, coz I didn't like myelf very much you see) I began to understand the inborn temperament in others as well. I realized that my sanguine-choleric husband is born that way, and I learnt to deal with the difficult traits associated with that personality, as well as focus on the strong qualities. I found Nunu is a Popular Sanguine, and I should not inhibit her natural inquisitiveness, her zest, energy and gung-honess. I have to be able to accept that some traits in her that may be just 'undesirable' for me, but I can tap her fullest potential without being so 'constipated'.

Anyway, back to me please, since I'm such a negative person, one of the things I need to do to keep the momentum going and instill a good positive vibe do on a daily basis, is keep an 'abundance journal'. Apart from the thanks and prayers we offer to our Maker 5 times a day, this is a beneficial tool coz you're constantly observing the positive things around you and you're not just mentally noting them. You're doing a deliberate action and focusing your energy to keep attracting great things to happen to you. Maybe a heap of mumbo jumbo to you, but it makes a whole lotta sense to me.

I'm not sure if I'm gonna be consistent with the postings of my abundance journal, but I have to start somewhere. So this is my journal for today.

Today, I feel so abundant when:

- my mom came by the house early in the morning bearing gifts in the form of breakfast, and spent some good quality time with me, Martian, Nunu and Tok

- I got a fabulous deal for 3 pieces of yummy cakes for the price of RM5



- incredibly, I was given two pieces more when I gave this baker a quick visit (now if I were to slip back into negativity, I'd beat myself the whole day for buying and paying RM5 for the previous cakes, had I known I would be given two pieces later for free by a friend, going on and on like "Why did I have to buy those cakes? Why you so gundu and buy cakes that you don't normally buy anyway? Why spend so impulsively? You're gonna get fat again in FIVE minutes once you eat them!" yadayadayada. Full stop. No more. I ate all of them.)



- Martian won a hamper from a bowling competition. Hey, better than just a trophy! And the ringing in my ears when Nunu screams excitedly, "Yeay, kita berjaya! Kita berjaya!"

Mighty bombastic for a soon to be 3 year old.

Now, who else if feeling abundant?