THE COCKY CHICKEN

Warning: Wearisomely rojak verbose post ahead!

Have you ever received messages or calls (usually missed ones) from an unknown person pestering to get to know you? I have, on several occasions, and I had one such harrowing experience just last Saturday evening.

I found out from this blog that such a seriously demented person is called a 'chicken'. Probably because this yellow-bellied stalker is the type who will harass you without really wanting to reveal himself. How or where they get our number in the first place is at times inexplicable & freaky enough, like in the case of this plucky lady who immediately told the chicken off and he ran scampering like a pupply with it's tail between it's legs.

How I wish I found the blog sooner, because if I did, I would have done the same thing. Confront the a**hole straight away. It's unfortunate that I'm a little complacent, honestly coz being the nice lady I am, I thought that ignoring such person would kill their interest soon enough.

This is how it began.

Two weeks ago, I saved a customer’s mobile phone number on my hp phonebook. Then I tried calling the number but she didn’t pick up. Later, I caught hold of her on the office phone and we settled business matters, but she denied receiving any calls from me on the hp. Never mindlah, I thought, that wasn’t so strange here in Malaysia. The network screws up all the time.

Later I received an sms from the number (the customer’s, or so I thought) asking who I was, since the person received numerous miscalls from my number. I texted back,

Me: Anne la, Kak *Nita . Tadi saya call, akak tak jawab. So macam mana pendrive?

Chicken: siapa ni? Cari siapa?

(*Nama telah diubah untuk melindungi identiti sebenar)

Instinctively I sensed something wrong and checked the number again, which I’ve written on a piece of scrap. Shoot, I got the numbers jumbled up! Immediately I texted the person back, saying that I was sorry I got the wrong number. And I left it at that.

Much later, I got another sms, which goes something like, “Nama siapa? Umur? Tinggal mana? Nak berkenalan boleh?” Those kinda crap, and I knew it was gonna be trouble. Of course I didn’t text him back (usually penyakit macam ni lelaki ah) because the more you entertain/ layan these type of people, the stickier the situation will get.

I’ve been getting more sms during the night, nothing kinky but irritating none-the-less. Things like, “Hi”, “Dah tidur ke?”, “Awak ni dah kawin ker?” I can’t remember exactly because I’ve deleted the sms’s and the wrong number itself.

This went on for days until he realized he's never ever getting a response from me, the chicken texted “Sombong ah”.

(Dalam hati memang bengang gila kat mamat psiko ni tapi buat derk jer lah)

I was never bothered again until yesterday I saw on my phone screen that I have a miscall from another unknown number. Now I usually never return an unknown call, but thinking that it might be a customer, I called. A girl picked up, in a distracted voice, saying that she’s looking for this guy, mister whathis name. I told her she got the wrong number. Agitated, she apologized. (OK, wrong number pun wrong number lah, apasal lak si minah ni kalut satu macam?)

Not long after that, I got another call. Hmm, another unknown number. I was about to pick up when the call stopped at just one ring. Weird, I felt like I should call back. No answer. Pissed off, I texted, “Siapa ni?”

Surprisingly, I got an answer!

Chicken: Saper2 pun. Dah tak ingat lg kah no ini awak send mesej silap. Sombong nya

Baldifull. Mamat ni rupanya. But I was too nice to maki this guy habis2 so I went for a softer approach to deal with him.

Me: La sori ah. Kan dah mintak maaf. Tak baik kata orang macam tu (i.e sombong. Pergh, poyo!) Awat miskol lak

Ceh, ni ayat konon nak menambah kenalan la ni konon...

Chicken: Dah kahwin ke? Bukan ape mana tau kot leh tambah kenalan. Kalau awak bujang lg.Tak apelah. Awak tak suka kata ganggu awak.

Hek eleh, kalau aku bujang pun aku tak hingin la berkenalan ngan ngko! But if course, I didn't say that. Nice lady mah. Siap explain lagi baik2.

Me: Dah. Mintak maaf lagi sekali. Saya jenis malas sms, itu yang tak reply. Anak dok kacau hp awak dok sms malam buta sapa nak pi jawab

Chicken: Takpe lah. OK bye

Haaa, cepat la give up ye bila orang kata dah kawin. Then I felt like giving him a short lecture, just to have the last say (he said bye oredy, rite?)

Me: Nasihat akak jangan dok miscall orang. I’m sure awak pun tak suka orang buat camtu

Yang bestnya, dia menjawab lagi!!!

Chicken: Yelah. Akak ni nama apa? Dok kat mana? Kerja apa? Saja tanya

Kurang asam & kurang siuman betol la manusia pekak camni (Moby! Gua pakai lu punya word!) Ada hati lagi nak tanya tu!

Me: Before tanya orang tu selalu kena kenalkan diri dulu. Baru betul (dalam hati geram ni)

The chicken has the cheek to answer back. Ni memang berani mati punya chicken la ni. Bini orang pun nak try.

Chicken: Saya Hafees dok Jitra. Umur 23. Baru habis belajr kat ILP. Tak ada orang marah ke sms dgn saya ni?

Ewah, ewah, budak hingus ni. Kalau aku cakap takder orang marah, pastu buat gatal2 nak berkenalan ngan dia gak agak2 makin melampau budak ni. Tapi last2 aku cakap macam ni ajer...

Me: OK adik. Ni kak nak habaq (bagitau). Kak tak suka sms pasai (sebab) jari lembap & sangat meletihkan. Malas. Tapi sebab nak habaq sikit kat adik ni. Jangan dok ingat dapat cari kawan macam ni dik oi. Miscall-miscall orang silap haribulan boleh kena maki tau dak. OK bye

Last sekali, tak puas hati dia nak jugak jawab tu...

Chicken: Kita faham bini orang. OK bye

Haaa, lebih kurang macam itulah cerita chicken saya. Sakit hati kan orang macam ni? Perasan bagusss, satu word sorry habuk pun tadak. Aku jer yang bodo pi kata sorry kat dia. Apa nak jadi budak2 zaman sekarang ni. Dapat duit mak bapak bagi, beli kredit buat pi kacau orang macam ni. Takder faedah langsung berkenalan cara hampeh camni. Baru habis belajar ILP (Institut Latihan Perindustrian) jer ingat awek minat sangat ah nak berkenalan. Pirah!

I suspect he asked a friend (the girl with the distracted voice) to call me, to confirm that I am actually a girl (not a burly Karam Singh Walia type), and proceeded to harass me again by miscalling me.

I also have a feeling that this chicken has something to do with several suspicious sms I received regarding some MMS that I allegedly downloaded. Kerja2 download2 MMS ni aku tak pernah lak buat, tau tak?

It happened on Friday, the day before the stoopid 'conversation' with the chicken and I received 3 sms's altogether, each suggesting that I was billed RM2.00 for each successful MMS download. Immediately I googled the sms source (32996) and it led me here. Tak pernah seumur hidup aku tengok ThumbTV bongok ni.

Tapi biasalah, I kan nice lady, I called their customer service and demanded an explanation about the downloads. The girl at the other line answered that it was confirmed that my mobile number was in their system that I have subscribed their services recently and has SUCCESSFULLY downloaded a few MMS (what MMS, how, through what, what time, what date she claimed she cannot check) and my credit memang dah kena potong RM6.00 semua.

Bangang! Of course, I didn't say that to her, because she sounded so innocent and offered to cancel the subscription to avoid further transactions. I asked her if it is possible that there has been misuse of our mobile numbers, she claimed that it could happen, but she didn't know HOW. She said that I could be surfing the net, clicked on something and automatically subscribed to something. I admit I am a big gundu, but not a BRAINLESS one, OK?

I thanked her, swore under my breath and put down the phone (although rasa cam nak slam jer)

I called Maxis, my network provider and give them my story. The Maxis people said that I have subscribed to an 'external content provider' on the 14th (Val's day la wei!) and billed RM5.00 for that! Mana ada wei!!! They couldn't do anything to help me, just like they couldn't help scores of other users who have fallen prey to the same scam, but to bar the content provider's number.

I bemoaned and expressed my dissatisfaction, that these people running the scam are getting away with millions!!! But they cannot help me, and said sorry. I said thank you, swore under my breath summore, and put down the phone slowly. Kalau ikut hati, gerenti pecah phone tu!

Dah. End of rant. I welcome comments, feedback & brickbats.