Wednesday, July 09, 2008

CHANGES AND BEACHES

A couple of weeks ago, when I was going through this transition, (hmm, some of you might be wondering why I'm speaking so vaguely, but bear with me while we wait things to solidify, k?) again I plunged deep into self-doubt.

Primarily, I was worried for Nunu at school, who displayed rather troubling behaviour, which started when I picked her up later in the evenings, around 4 - 4.30 pm. She started to resist going to school, and at one time, ran past us all the adults and out of the school gate, and straight towards the road! I caught her just in time. She hugged me so tightly, kissed my hands and cheeks a million times if she could, before the teachers had to pry her fingers off me.

She refused to nap with the other kids. She screamed and cried during bath time. She didn't like to participate in group activities, especially singing together and doing the hand motions. She'd rather do her own stuff or walk around (looking for trouble I guess, hehe). She told me all this, and her story was verified by the teachers. She said she didn't like to go in the class. She whined that she didn't want to eat, sleep or bathe at school. I asked her why and she answered that she wanted to be with me. She said a lot of stuff that was worry worthy. This went on for more than a month.

The teachers of course, told me she was fine and she would adapt sooner or later. How could I not worry, you tell me? I wasn't the only one going through changes but do I have to subject her to the consequences of my decisions?

Ugh, motherly guilt, you got me good. You eat me alive.

Again, to compensate and clear off our minds, we hit the beach.



I taught her to collect sea shells



She never played with sand before, kuis kuis dengan kaki jer. But she's a fast learner, and we both got sands in our eyes soon after that.

The day we went to the beach, I ran into a man with a toddler. He looked very sad and troubled, and the boy looked a bit listless. I immediately felt pity for the boy. The man approached me and with cautious but embarrassed words, he asked me for help. He work nights and he hasn't been paid by his employer and he was short for cash. He said he can starve but his son hasn't had milk for days, he had to feed the boy air gula (plain syrup of sugar and water). He asked whether I could buy his son a small pack of milk, the same brand I'm giving Nunu now and he would pay me back at the end of this month, if we could meet up again at the same place.

I knew he could be conning me, but what if he was telling the truth, and I refused to help someone fearing of being duped? That would be sinful, and even if he was a con, if I intented to bersedekah, I'd get pahala, right? I believe what goes around, comes around. Too bad the store nearby was closed that time, so I just gave the man RM10.00. Immediately I felt humbled by the fact that there are people out there struggling with worse problems than mine.



And how truly blessed and fortunate we are. I really hope the boy gets the milk.



Look at her expression when I took a big bite off her ice cream cone!


Merajuk konon!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey you!

Hang in there ok? I don't know exactly what it is you are going through - but from a lot of things I've read that you've written, you seem like a strong person.

If you ever need a listening ear - email me - you know my email address....

Take care and don't ever feel guilty - Nunu will understand all your decisions one day.

Lots of love and hugs
Bav

cysev3n said...

i'm so touched about the man + son..

as for Nunu, follow your mother instinct.. sometimes org kata kena buat hati kering je dgn anak2 ni.. but then, who knows..

Anonymous said...

transition? what transition? *dying to know*
we haven't chat for sooo soo nong that I really have no clue what you're facing right now.
some friend, huuh? *slaps own face :p*

babe,whatever it is you're going through right now, i have you in my du'a.
hope everything will go smooth sailing for you, amin!

rindu sama u lah!

Nina @ BabyBoon said...

hey anne, hope your transition is going well. do take care and have faith; u're a strong lady and we're rooting for u!

and the story abt the man and his boy.. its just so sad and i'm hearing more and more of this sort of situation nowadays. its just so wrong. we're so blessed indeed.

J.A.D said...

I have been in that situation b4. A very well dressed chinese couple and a little girl who claimed to be from singapore and was a victim of a snatch thief. they offered to sell me a 'genuine levis jeans' so that they could rent a room somewhere for their little girl to sleep in that nite. I didnt have the hundreds RM they were asking and so they asked for rm50 and gonna pay me back when their parents come down from Hong Kong the next day.

I instinctively know that I am probably gonna be conned that day but i still gave them that rm50. Kalau kena tipu, kira halal duit tu, tapi kalau betul, takkan nak biar budak tu merempat kat tepi jalan... end up mmg kira sedekah aje la...

My hope is, I try to be nice in life so that people will be nice to me and my family in return especially my kids. Yg lain tu semua kerja Allah... :)

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