Sometimes I hate to fly, because the higher you are, the harder you'll fall. And I can't get used to being happy too much, because I know when the next depressive cycle comes and I'm at the bottom of the wheel, I curse my previous cheerful self for the short-lived joy and for being foolish enough to believe that it's gonna last.
Hucking fell, motherhood is an emotional roller coaster, dummy. Haven't you got that already?
Silence, Thy Name is Anne. Or Delusion, Thy Name is Big Fat Gundu.
I'm trying to kill off these vicious inner demons (read: hasutan2 syaithonnirrajim) by watching Nunu's old videos. Here's a particular video that I specifically took by Nadia's request.
Dearest Nunu, as the old saying goes, you're the poison, you're the cure.
You're also my booze, my dope, my crystal meth, my xanax, my prozac.
*****************
A friend was reading an interesting book recently, Marcia Wallace's (best known for her role as Bart Simpson's teacher , Mrs. Krabapple) Don't Look Back, We're Not Going That Way
One of Marcia's insight is why we mothers tend to gloss over motherhood and make it sound all so rosy. Everyone knows motherhood is not a bed of roses, so why aren't we being truthful enough to others, or at least to ourselves?
Personally I think a lot of mothers these days (bloggers especially) have the perfect avenue to discuss shared grievances of parenthood, and virtually any issue possible. I've read countless women admitting, complaining, groaning, kvetching, whining, groveling, etc. that being a mom and raising a family is one heck of a job and they're this close to throwing in the towel. I myself have one too many homicidal and suicidal thoughts springing in my mind when facing those tough times, but face it, I'm no Amalah or Dooce who are blessed with the eloquence and humour to sound a little loco with the struggles of motherhood and get away with that.
True, a lot of mothers wear a mask sometimes and try to portray themselves as the perfect alpha mom and pretend that things are all a-okay. There's nothing wrong with that actually, that basically depends on your initial intention, especially if people find you a positive force and start emulating you for their own benefit. But you also have to take the flak when people start calling you pretentious, so you gotta be cool enough to say 'screw you'.
For most of us, we do still hold back a little and in retrospect, try to focus on the joys rather than pains coz at the end of the day, the good times outweigh the bad almost all the time, right? Besides, isn't it normal to have those tender memories closer to heart?
And most importantly, yes miss international woman of mystery, we gotta keep that sense of humour! I know I'm rambling, must be all the intoxicating Nunu videos getting to my head, so just humour me ok.
Hucking fell, motherhood is an emotional roller coaster, dummy. Haven't you got that already?
Silence, Thy Name is Anne. Or Delusion, Thy Name is Big Fat Gundu.
I'm trying to kill off these vicious inner demons (read: hasutan2 syaithonnirrajim) by watching Nunu's old videos. Here's a particular video that I specifically took by Nadia's request.
Dearest Nunu, as the old saying goes, you're the poison, you're the cure.
You're also my booze, my dope, my crystal meth, my xanax, my prozac.
*****************
A friend was reading an interesting book recently, Marcia Wallace's (best known for her role as Bart Simpson's teacher , Mrs. Krabapple) Don't Look Back, We're Not Going That Way
One of Marcia's insight is why we mothers tend to gloss over motherhood and make it sound all so rosy. Everyone knows motherhood is not a bed of roses, so why aren't we being truthful enough to others, or at least to ourselves?
Personally I think a lot of mothers these days (bloggers especially) have the perfect avenue to discuss shared grievances of parenthood, and virtually any issue possible. I've read countless women admitting, complaining, groaning, kvetching, whining, groveling, etc. that being a mom and raising a family is one heck of a job and they're this close to throwing in the towel. I myself have one too many homicidal and suicidal thoughts springing in my mind when facing those tough times, but face it, I'm no Amalah or Dooce who are blessed with the eloquence and humour to sound a little loco with the struggles of motherhood and get away with that.
True, a lot of mothers wear a mask sometimes and try to portray themselves as the perfect alpha mom and pretend that things are all a-okay. There's nothing wrong with that actually, that basically depends on your initial intention, especially if people find you a positive force and start emulating you for their own benefit. But you also have to take the flak when people start calling you pretentious, so you gotta be cool enough to say 'screw you'.
For most of us, we do still hold back a little and in retrospect, try to focus on the joys rather than pains coz at the end of the day, the good times outweigh the bad almost all the time, right? Besides, isn't it normal to have those tender memories closer to heart?
And most importantly, yes miss international woman of mystery, we gotta keep that sense of humour! I know I'm rambling, must be all the intoxicating Nunu videos getting to my head, so just humour me ok.
10 comments:
noboby does 'deadpan humour' as well as them. i'd rather make mummy mistakes than be an alpha mom. cos at the end of the day i want to be the best mum for my babe not 'The Best Mom In The World' you know?
haha nobody wants to claim that award either lah, i think, unless they're given by the children. just do the best we can lah & be just as truthful to ourselves. no need to kid anyone else
Me come, me alpha daddy. Hear me complain!
Me tell you story how me want to strangle my offspring. But me love them too.
Strangle, kiss, strangle, kiss.
Me say bye.
That is such a sweet video of your little one singing :)
I know where you're coming from - my daughter is only 17 months old and I already feel the terrible twos coming on!
ni orang batu mana yg datang pulak ni?
hey bavani, thnks for the nice comment & welcome to my blog! i've been to yours a couple of times too, from fad's blog. haha we got to give the kids a break eh, they're not really sure how to cope with the stress of growing up just yet, eh?
Ooooohhhhhh... tell me abourrit! I'd go mentally insane sometimes with Irfan too. And I'd rather be the mom who makes mistakes and learns her lessons rather than those Alpha Moms. I don't think that anything or anyone can be perfect these days.
Thanks for dropping by my blog too. I don't understand Malay so could you translate that 1st question in your reply? (sheepish smile).
Actually, I'm a regular spy on your blog - I enjoy your style of writing. It's just that this is the first time I decided to come out of hiding :)
nadia, remember our pact to go check in into tanjung rambutan together k?
bavani, err the reply in malay wasn't intended for you! it was for the deranged mr neanderthal up there! i was just saying where the heck the cave man came from, ehehe, just an inside joke between friends. omgosh, it's so nice to know that someone likes to read my blog just for the heck of it, and please do say hi if you want to. i'm very nice most of the time!
i like ur blog for its honesty and humour...and everybody knows motherhood is not a bed of roses, (which makes me want to yell "so quit pretending it is, u wannabe alpha moms!") haha..alpha moms are so gonna kill me now...
so i really appreciate the humour because ur addressing what's REAL, not all the rosy-posy stuff alone :-)
this is just my own dua sen opinion..but i think most mommies are afraid of being judged as bad people if they address the downsides of mommydom, thus, they focus on the rosy-posy stuff, alone..but that can become too boring n pretentious, no?
so blogs like urs make me feel it's ok to be 'real'...it's all right to be human..and i'm not alone in this wondrous, yet confusing journey :-D
mdr, alamak, *shy2* thnks for telling me why you like to read my rants, ok! yeah, it's understandable when you dont want to be labeled as as a bad parent. I don't think I am, I just need to blow off some steam :)
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