WHO AM I?

A lactivist? A BF bully? A BF militant? A BF mafia? A tit nazi?

You tell me.

A couple of weeks ago, I got pretty upset when an oversight at the hospital where my SIL delivered her 3rd child resulted to the baby being breastfed only after approximately 24 hours after birth.

Yes, upset. pissed. ballistic. disturbingly over the top,*gravy spilling over the spoon* kinda upset.

Long story short, the nurses have forgotten to brief her on their birthing/breastfeeding policies and practices (which are really not breastfeeding friendly at all!). The norm is, if there are no complications, they would usually let the mother rest for 12 hours, before they let her see the baby again, who's being kept nice and cozy in the 'sterile & germ free' nursery. I hate to make this assumption, but I believe these babies are being fed on formula should they go hungry during these 12 hours. OK, whatever, fine.

If a mother decides beforehand to exclusively breastfeed her child, she should made her intentions clear to the staff. See, there should be a two way communication going on here. The nurses give a brief, the mom states her decision. Communication breakdown? Fine, it's her 3rd time giving birth there already, for goodness' sake.

So, SIL claimed that she intended to breastfeed, but the baby hasn't been presented to her, and the only time she asked the nurse when she would be able to do so, the nurse replied that she could go to the nursery anytime and to see the baby and breastfeed there, but not at the ward. OK, fine. SIL, being SIL, hesitated and dropped the matter.

Until the next morning. The doctor came to her and informed that the baby 'puked'. Only then she hurried to the nursery and tried to feed the baby. That one time.

When MIL and I came to the hospital to fetch her, she relayed her experience to me. Frankly, I didn't like what happened and tried my best to conceal my dissatisfaction (OK lah, it wasn't really my best effort :D). I walked around the maternity ward and saw all these great posters about breastfeeding and such. I thought to myself, "this is all bull"

So, out of curiosity, I went up to the counter and in my nicest demeanor, inquired about their breastfeeding practices. The matron was nice enough to spare her time for me and attended to my questions.

"But my SIL wants to breastfeed her baby. Why isn't there someone helping her?" I pressed.

And the matron looked surprised. "Why? She wants to exclusively breastfeed issit?"

Then it was my turn to act surprised. "Why, SHOULDN'T she?" Eyes bulging and hand on my heart (boob, whatever) for a dramatic effect.

In haste, she walked to the ward to have a talk with SIL. Only then the miscommunication was acknowledged and she profusely apologized for not giving the brief earlier. She also explained that the policies are based on the norms of their regular patients (read: chinese) so basically, breastfeeding practices are not really on top of their list.

Sigh.

I don't care about the politics of breastfeeding, the debate of bf vs formula, mother's choice, best for baby, formula marketing tactics, et cetera (OK lah, I still do, but I'm not as anal as I use to) - however I'm all for breastfeeding education, good resources for information and mothers' support groups.

I'm just a little concerned about how some hospitals are putting very little effort on promoting breastfeeding and getting the right message across. Then it struck me, that in reality, unlike the government run hospital where I delivered Nunu, which was a baby-friendly hospital, most maternity institutions still have a long way to go.

I knew the existence of this problem, but when you come across face to face with this situation, it finally made sense to you, why these people behind WABA, LLC, UNICEF are working tirelessly not only to educate people, but to encourage health care providers and birth centers to do the same.

The following is the Ten Steps To Successful Breastfeeding according to UNICEF's Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative (BFHI) , which I personally think should be implemented by all hospitals here (we need it!)

1. Have a written breastfeeding policy that is routinely communicated to all health care staff.
2. Train all health care staff in skills necessary to implement this policy.
3. Inform all pregnant women about the benefits and management of breastfeeding.
4. Help mothers initiate breastfeeding within one half-hour of birth.
5. Show mothers how to breastfeed and maintain lactation, even if they should be separated from their infants.
6. Give newborn infants no food or drink other than breast milk, unless medically indicated.
7. Practice rooming in - that is, allow mothers and infants to remain together 24 hours a day.
8. Encourage breastfeeding on demand.
9. Give no artificial teats or pacifiers (also called dummies or soothers) to breastfeeding infants.
10. Foster the establishment of breastfeeding support groups and refer mothers to them on discharge from the hospital or clinic

Grumbles aside, we left the hospital with bags and bags of freebies. Among other things, were two cans of infant formula. Fine, I have nothing against formula. But wouldn't it be nice if they throw in a couple of breastfeeding paraphernalia too? Some booklets, brochures, breast pads, perhaps? But let's be realistic here, who wants to do that if it means spending more money to educate and support breastfeeding moms?

Seeing that SIL needed assistance she was not getting enough from the hospital, I tried to help around as much as I could. I gave her books, booklets, and lent her my pump. Guiding without being condescending, understanding without being a know-it-all, encouraging without being pushy, convincing her that it is okay to give the boy a few spoonfuls of formula when he really needs it. Telling how lucky she is for having an abundance of milk. All in all, giving her support for her commendable effort.

When MIL told me recently that she is giving the baby formula more often nowadays, I just keep my mouth shut, while MIL rattled on. Whatever her reasons are, it is her choice after all.

*for the malay idiom ignoramus - lebih kuah dari sudu - a person not in concern being obsessively overboard