Drink milk, "NO!"... take a bath, "Takmo!"... brush your teeth "NO!"... eat rice, "Takmo!"... pakai baju, "Tak Maaaaaaaaooo!"
Sigh... nasib baik mengaji pandai!
These are not the usual kickings and screamings, tantrum-throwing diva-like attitude. Something in her eyes in between those bouts of defiance spells trouble, challenging me and pushing my limits.
For example, she enjoys contradicting me. This 'anak dara' , at seventeen, decides to have an identity crisis. It exasperates me when she wants to believe she's always right.
It's not like she's never been naughty or rebellious before. I have been trying to discipline the girl since she turned one, but either my efforts are sabotaged or the kid outsmarts me time and time again.
You know lah, kids. You 'babab' their arms and they stretch out their hands as if it's a game. You 'jentik' them and they try to 'jentik' you back. You 'cubiitttttt' them and it breaks your heart when you see them 'cubit' themselves in the thigh. The nanny reports to me that when she's being scolded, she would make 'muka kering'.
I believe it looks something like this... a distant, blase look.
Hana mentioned about the sacred mommy super power simply named "The Look" in her entry, and more readers chipped in with comments about other tools and techniques to get your children under your submission.
Problem is, despite several attempts to give Nunu my "look", she will respond with her own counter "look" - scrunch up the face and try to look cross.
I guess there has been only 3 occasions when she showed some desirable response towards our reprimands.
The first time was a couple of months ago when Martian, fed up of cleaning up the mess, smacked her hands as she tried to rummage the CD cabinet. She bawled & came running into my arms.
The second time, she broke Mak Tok's flower vase. I didn't swat her bottom, but gave her a severe lecturing (maybe my "look" worked that one time) and her eyes watered, her lips quivered and she hugged me in genuine remorse.
The third time, a couple of days ago, she was soooo 'syiok' in a nen-nen session that she dug her thumb into my sides. I gave a yowl, placed her in front of me and gave her a good scolding. She was probably shocked at the suddenness of my displeasure but she did something different this time. She stayed put, but moved her face & gaze at other places, left right while her eyes watered though she really was fighting back the tears, her fist made small circular movements (as if fighting back the urge to lunge at me & gauge my eyes!). Her lips puckered and quivered and 'terkebam-kebam' while she made some eye contact with me but immediately gazed elsewhere.
She did this for a full silent minute or so, but I felt like it was for the longest time. She finally broke the stand off by holding out her hand & said "-lam". Momma is such a sucker - so I let her kiss my hand and gave her a hug. It wasn't not a fair match.
That's the good thing about her. Be it a small offense of a huge one, all my reprimands will elicit an instant 'salam' and hand kissing in return for an instant forgiveness.
There were more events that showed her increased level of assertiveness, but I'm not here to complain. I'm certainly looking forward to more battles with her once she's approaching the 'terrible-twos' I've heard so much about.
I'm sure, other mommies would tell me, it's just a phase. Of course, kids change and develop at an amazing pace, we can hardly catch up, especially for 1st time parents. At every age, at every level, everything is a phase.
Like most girls at seventeen, Nunu is full of endless chatter. Although almost everything this is still gibberish to me (I'm sure she thinks she carrying a perfectly comprehensible conversation with me), I'm not overtly excited anymore at the new words she's beginning to say.
I have to come to terms that at this age, of course she's talking. Momma has to learn to get a grip lah.
She's beginning to speak in short sentences, a mix of phrases she's accustomed to hearing & some she's learning to form herself, for example "Ma, nak -kung (dukung)/ -yun (turun)/ -teh (water)", "Abih dah", "Kakak/Abang -dai (pandai) and the best one yet,"Na na, tak tau".
A fleeting thought stopped me from prattling on about Nunu's speech development. Sometimes, I wonder if I sound like an annoying & arrogant parent when I write these updates. Do people read this, roll their eyes in disgust & find my entries sickeningly self-indulgent, boring & reeks of pride?
I get this notion from another mommy blogger who mentioned that she didn't want to sound that of an over proud parent when she writes about her boy's developments.
Which made me think, I mean, people actually care whether you sound obnoxious or not? Do they think that when we talk about our children, in an implicit way we are bragging & are undermining other children who are not blessed with the same capabilities?
Ada manusia macam ni?
I can only hope that there are more people who thinks like me (don't puke if I'm so goody-goody), who writes for posterity and the sheer novelty of it; who enjoys reading parental blogs to share experiences and try to be a better mom, not just to past time or forge allies or foes.
A few years down the road and I'll probably forget about these moments. When she farts & nonchalantly says "Poott!" and cheekily grins.
When she bumps her head and comes running to me saying, "Ma -keet, guhhm!"
When she says "be-la-lah" for umbrella, "bo-bo" for rainbow, "ah-ah-do" for avocado and "te-te-te" for elephant ( I know, doesn't make sense, but that's how she calls her elephantine friends).
Speaking of stuffed elephants, Nunu now has a BFF in the form of a particular Boots toy elephant that I got for free that she's grown awfully affectionate to. I understand that children will get attached to a toy, and somehow I've been waiting to see when this would happen to Nunu. She used to love all her stuffed animals, but this time around, she won't go anywhere without 'te-te-te'.
Celik mata, cari te-te-te, pejam mata, cari te-te-te :)
People has been noticing that she has more hair now. Boleh lah... setakat nak taruk hairclip. But she's still being mistaken for a boy, even when she's in a skirt! Pffftt!
Tengah ushar-ushar abang2 UiTM
Sekali kena interview, terus malu daaaa...
19 comments:
Fuyohhh ... Nunu posing maut kat tangga lah ...
Well, I've only blogged for about a year, and I've met beribu-ribu ragam of 'em bloggers. Ada yang nak show off anak siapa yang paling lawa/handsome/pandai etc etc, who wears what branded clothes (to the extend of putting the brand name(s) for each baju the kid(s) wear!) and the latest I read was about a blogger mom who would take each and every detail of a development from someone else's kid and pass it off as her son's. Ayat pun bulat-bulat tiru, ok?
So yes, manusia macam ini pun ada.
Anyway, I really think it's a phase for Nunu. Just let her be. I know I'm going to go mental when Irfan reaches her age too. Haha. Oh well, nak buat camner??
Good luck, yah?!!
p/s: Nanti tlg passkan some secrets on how you handle her.. hehe!
a blogger once said, something like this : 'the mommy bloggers' world is a very dangerous place to be in. Full of backstabbers & hasad dengki'.
so pedulilah apa org nak kata, blog kita, sukahati kitalah kita nak tulih apa..he he
anne, let's offer hana an "ayam golek" so she can turunkan her 'look' tip to us.
hawra skrg ni pon babab tangan dah tak jalan. tsk.
dah besau anak omak! happy 17th! which reminds me i havent done updates on my OWN nuha for a very long time :S
Seronok baca perkembangan nunu.. dah pandai tunjuk perasaan ya..
my darling aliya is only 13 going on 14 but i hear you momma!! whenever she get the "look" from me, she will act as if it is my normal everyday look. Sikit pun tak ambik pot. But she will whail and scream to her heart's content at any time she likes for any (or no) reason at all.
Of course mummies all detailed out the developement of their precious because they are full of pride. I feel very proud talking about the current "in" thing that my children has mastered but to snide at another mummy for being proud of their darlings... tak pernah terlintas pun dalam kepala.
I know you tulis panjang lebar and there's a lot of things which i could write about but one thing that stood out (and screamed at me) was:
"I have been trying to discipline the girl since she turned one, ..."
ONE???
Huda is 1 yr 2 months and I haven't been making much of an attempt to discipline her!! What will my daughter turn into?? (Tak padan lah makin naik lemak budak tu... Suruh salam datoknenek dia, dia pandang lain..)
Gaaaaahhh!!!
*regains composure*
Tomorrow, boot camp.
the itm students ngorat siapa sebenarnya? haha...
re: nadia's comment about a mom using someone else's words for her child.
I find that very worrying. my main subjects in my blog are my children. once i wrote about sarah's development. and a few days later - i bloghopped (which i rarely do or did - only to regular ones) and found this one mommy using the same descriptions sebijik sebijon about her son.
the date was a day or two before I published my entry. i was like 'meremang bulu roma' thinking that people will think that i didn't have any originality whatsoever in my blog. mesti orang fikir i copycat this mom's words bulat2.
but then i thought- since we are talking the same topic: development of a 3 year old. what more do you expect? he/she can do calculus? we bound to write about the same thing. we may get some ideas from other people's blogs. but from my part - i didn't tiru. honest!
aiyooo why i always tend to berceloteh panjang in your comment box ah? i still have more to say, but malu kompeni je. so better stop!
hee. i still feel that way tau, anne, abt what we spoke abt. nak blog pon pikir punye pikir dua tiga empat kali. :S
but i know how u feel, their milestones are so fleeting, it's hard not to feel proud of 'em and share with others when they come! :))
so thank you for sharing nunu's wonderful milestones with us. gerammmm tau, i luv budak2 kecik pandai cakap! hehee.
and as for The Look, zalin, tak payah lah ayam golek ke ayam penyet ke apa, it doesnt work anymore, lol... the boy too does the "avert eyes" and "kiss-and-make-up" trick, camne nak marah for long??
i guess we'll have to keep finding ways to "outwit, outplay, outlast" them as we go along. :)
let's keep sharing, mommies!!
*tumpang lalu jap*
Mama Sarah: Well, she not only copied the developments word for word, but she also copied the tags (tags pun nak tiru ke?) and the PPP (paid posts) too. Of course, she didn't limit to just one particular bloglah. But people started noticing and got mad because she didn't do it just once, it was many many times! Takkan everytime pun asyik sama je? And 2-3 hari beza je? And what got people really really cheesed off was that she didn't admit she was wrong. Bah!
:)
nadia, that person is so sick! dahlah 'make money' out of it lagi!
so people actually talk to her directly about her plagiarism activity?
now i'm having 'bad thoughts' entah2 that person copied mine? and backdate her entry. could that be it? it's too freaking similar to my entry!
but what's her blog address now...? aiseyman, i don't remember. oh well...
anne - i know you dont mind our little chit chat here right? the more the merrier kan kan?
*tumpang lalu agan*
Mama Sarah: Well, yes, people told her directly. They spoke to her on MSN, and some even wrote posts in their respective blogs about it. And yet, she was still in denial. Dia kata she doesn't know what to write, hence plagiarising other mommy's updates on their kids and also coz she thought that a tag is supposed to be copied bulat-bulat. Hello? Tak sekolah ah?
Anyway, now, she has stopped blogging and deleted all her postslah after kena-ing from so many people. Apparently, there was another mommy in Singapore who did the same too to another mommy blogger here.
Ish. I don't get it lah. Like why the need??
Nadia & MS:
dia tu betul2 ke ada anak? takkan la sampai kena copy entry mak2 lain...
serious case of plagiarism ni..
hehe..
Anne:
You have a 'Reformasi' leader in the making :P
nadia: so no point of me to go searching for her blog now.
don't know what to write - then don't start a blog lah! haiya! so now, there's another lady doing the same thing? hahaha, tu pun mengundang padah. what's her link. nanti i buat2 singgah her blog and say
'eh, haven't i read this somewhere else before???'
dyanna: itulah, kalau nak copy pun, pandai2lah cover! ni pergi tiru bulat2. lagi pulak you are in a circle of friends - mestilah orang notice kan?
sometimes, i do find some articles or what other people write about their children or stuff very interesting - you give credits to them and link them up in your post. like we honest people do. heh heh!
errrrkkk... speaking of which. i selalu lupa nak give credits to the layouts i used. (pandai marah orang! sendiri pun lupa)
i write for posterity too. tak kisahlah apa orang lain nak kata kan. our kid(s), suka hati kita lah nak puji or complain. by the way, i like reading these kinda blogs (mommy bloggers, haha) cuz i get to learn a thing or two about parenting. it helps, especially when you have no help around.
mak aih, baru bape hari tak jenguk blog, dah byk komen nak respon! ok, i'm responding in random order here!
ramlee, ada byk lagi pose2 menarik yg super model nunu bagi, but mostly she uses her blase blank look ah each time paparazzi whips out their camera. sheesh
nadia, really ah? so many annoying people one ah? hehe i guess i've been so naive, selalu sangka baik sgt kat orang. but it boils down on how you put things yeah? people can always get the wrong idea if u dont say it rite :)
mama sarah, about plagiarism, it's not the 1st time i hear about it, but the one nadia mentioned is too much! but if u feel sthing is not right about it, just be cool ok. I know Hana has dealt with all kinds of crap with these kind of people, the main thing is to treat like it's a big deal. No point giving them the extra attetion :) Kan, hana, kan? and dont feel bad berceloteh panjang over here!
and my dear hana banana, u remember that talk we had yeah? ugh u know wht they say, it's tough being you! haha you wait ah. Aniq will grow up & become mat potpet like Dadam soon, you layan ler dia sembang! and too bad 'the look' doesn't work anymore, baru jer nak minta peturun ilmu! like you said, motherhood is also a learning process/journey for us.
zalin, i echo your comment! the blog world is a dangerous place to be in! lol - but we all nak jugak bergelumang kat sini kan :D
and you hear that? the sanctity of 'the look' is gone in the land of izadnhana. we must go find other tok guru or nenek kebayan!
dyanna, u know, martian been calling her puteri reformasi tau!
pinkyj, where u been, babe? yeah, you owe us some updates on your 'puteri reformasi'. b'day coming soon rite?
ucue, tunjuk perasaan... hehe... ah ah.. nunu pun puteri reformasi jugak. but then, nothing that i can't handle. Dah jadi mak, kena lah pandai2 cari jalan didik anak
mommy2iman, your aliya is quite a character, i know! tahan lasak satu macam!
nad, i can't help you much, but to wish you "good luck". I'm pretty much the 'bad cop' here, and let martian be the good cop. I think it's better this way, as we don't want the child to become afraid & distant with the father (dah ler susah nak spend time together kan?)
and last but not least, ann aka mak alesha. how u been in the land of snow-capped mountains & neutrality :D you put it soooo clearly, that i dont have to say it myself... it must be even harder for you being so far away from home. On the bright side, i think it does make you a more efficient mommy, rite? :D
whew! i think i got everyone!
To Anne :
I don't get why anyone should feel annoyed when someone talks about their kid's development. But then again, I do know of people whom when I ask about their kid's development in school and they get offended! They must think I take that their kids are stupid or something. Masyallah!
To Nisak and Nadia:
I am shocked reading your comments!! Apa ke hal depa ni?? Here we are memecah kepala nak karang entries and depa senang2 copy? ish ish! Anyway this is not new. Once someone copied a whole entry (a whloe entry!! mind you) from that Ah Beng the cat's blog and Ah Beng's fans went all the way to this guy's blog and kutuk him habis2 but the guy seems unperturbed! haha
wah, anne, your blog so full of life and heated discussions. hehehee... to h*ll with everyone that think badly whenever we talk about our kids or whatever.. "blog aku sukati aku laa..."..is my opinion. and BY THE WAY...
YOUR NUNU'S SO CUTE LA! How can ppl mistaken her for a boy..?? *confused*
And like Nadia, I will NEED a lot of tips for dealing with terrible-twos... *shudder shudder*
dith, some ppl are sensitive, esp when it comes to their kids academic achievements. we never know, maybe they think when we ask such things, we tend to make comparisons. Such ppl must open up their minds more lah kan.
bb, wah lao - you're a long way ahead to start worrying about gib's terrible-twos! and you summed it up for me just fine, i dont hafta say it myself. My blog, my suka hati lah. but some ppl must learn how to blog responsibly & practice better ethics.
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