A New Start with My Little Darling

Okay, so I've been missing and my blog was buried under virtual cobwebs for nearly a year. Yup, a YEAR. That's how long I've been occupied with pregnancy and lately, motherhood.
I wouldn’t want to write so much about being a preggie (that’s what’s we’ve been called, rite?) coz I don’t want to sound like whiny mommy. (Actually, my pregnancy would be an extremely boring story to tell, so I'd stick to the good stuff).

Well, I'm not here to disclose any health information but let's just say that i had a smooth sailing pregnancy (read: BORING). No terrible morning sickness, high blood pressure or the sorts. I even made it through Ramadhan and completed a month of fasting. Swelling body parts and backache are common conditions of a soon-to-be mother, so I usually put the thought (and the pain) at the back of, my head, and instead, rejoice at feeling the baby kicking about in my tummy, telling me that she is alive and well.

However, giving birth was a different story altogether. You can say I was mentally very unprepared for it. On 4th December 2005, in the wee of the morning, I started feeling cramp-like sensations at my back & abdomen. It wasn’t painful, but jarring enough to wake me up from sleep. I didn’t suspect it was birth contractions, coz I expected my water to break first. Also, I never experienced birth symptoms i.e Braxton Hicks etc. Upon checking, I had bloodstains on my panty. Still, it didn’t occur to my thick head that I might be in labor. I’ve heard so much about false alarms that I refused to believe that the baby might be a week or two early.

After cooking breakfast and the pain came and went every 10 minutes, then I started to realize that the contractions could be for real. I called Mum and she urged me to go for a check. Hubby and I managed to get a leisurely shower and breakfast. Even in the car, I convinced myself that the baby was not coming out that day. She liked it in there. When we arrived at the hospital, I was already 3cm dilated. As the nurse handed me the hospital gown to change, my jaw was still dropping in disbelief. You see, I still need to settle a few things at the office the next Monday before I go for my leave. I only needed a day, ONE friggin’ day, before I can peacefully let go of everything. And come to think of it, I was thinking too much about Monday that I dont even have time to panic about being in labor.

Hubby and I waited till noon. Everyone started coming to wish me well; Mum, MIL & FIL, Tok, Aunties & Uncles and the kids. I've never stayed at a hospital before so the feeling was surreal. Even when they strapped me to the heart beat machine and I heard the baby's "Gedush, gedush, gedush" thundering heart beat, I felt so calm and reassured, like I've been drugged or something.

The nurses were very nice to me. And ouh, would you be surprised that I chose a government hospital? A lot of people were, but Mum convinced me that we have decent health care here in Malaysia, if you know which string to pull, haha. Well, actually Mum used to work at the hospital before, circa 1980-82, called her nurse-friend who is still working there to tell the other nurses to take extra care of me. I had time to browse at their library, and I got a pretty nice lunch too. It was a waste that I couldn't finish it coz each time I had a contraction which was only minutes apart, the food got stuck in my throat and I couldn't swallow. It amazes me now when I recall those moments, because I think I never felt that the pain gave me a scare at all, that the baby was going to pop out, and tore me up inside out. Hehe, I can give myself a pat at the back, for being brave.

I walked in to the labour room, unprepared for what was going to happen next. A couple of minutes later, I felt the contractions RIPPING through my body, and I remember screaming through gritted teeth. Hubby was ever-supportive, and kept calming me down, held my hands and rubbed my back. I didn't know how long I was in labour, until my screaming got louder alerting a nurse came to check me up. Guess what, I was already 9cm dilated! I reckon the nurses were pretty unprepared too coz it could take hours and hours to reach 9cm and they predicted I should give birth by 5pm.

Suddenly all the nurses came and said "Ha, now u can push. Dont push with ur face ah, push like you have constipation like that". Oh god, how to push like constipation nurse, never had constipation all my life, then how?

As I was hanging for my dear life, and the baby kept coming in and out of me, everybody in the room felt the suspense, coz if I didn't give birth in an hour, I could get too tired to push and the baby might suffocate. I swear it was all to surreal to me, when I decided to give one last, big, geram push - and the nurse snip,snip - and the baby was out - with a blop and a thud. No signs of baby crying, until the nurse slap and pat her around, then she gave a loud wail and all of us gave a sigh of relief.

I have safely birthed a living being into this world. It's true what people say. The moment you feel the baby is out, the excruciating pain that you felt just before vanishes away. I thought it was just a load of c**p before I experience it myself. It's true, you guys! It's TRUE!

As they lay the perfect little bundle on your chest, no words could describe the overwhelming joy you'd feel bursting inside of you. You wouldn't care for the nurses still fiddling underneath you for the afterbirth, the cleaning up and the stitching. You would ignore that you look like a mess, and you would forget about your hubby altogether. Somehow, for a moment, the world consists of just you and your baby.

So there you have it. My story. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you give birth to a baby! That was almost 3 months ago, and I'm slowly and dangerously starting to forget about the whole ordeal. Well, not that soon to start on another baby project!

There will be more stories to come, time and God permitting, as I take on this new journey of motherhood with my precious baby, Nurul Nuha Afnan. Her name should mean "Cahaya Keperibadian yang Mempesona" - fusheh! How on earth do we come up with such a divine name? Oklah, who am I kidding. We are proud copycats. Nurul Nuha is Anwar Ibrahim's second daughter's name, the less popular one. And Afnan is short for Affnani, which I think is such a beautiful name, but everybody ( and I mean everybody) told me Nurul Nuha Affnani is too long. Poor Nuha would take a longer time to write her name on her books later in school compared to her friends.

As I was saying, this blog I hope, would charter new heights in our lives - as i rant and berate about life in general, my new parenting role - whether I'd screw up or not - or joyfully share with the rest of the virtual world about Nunu's everyday antics. I dont know - I have absolutely no idea what's in store for me and hubby. And I'm sure the stuff that I'd write, the opinions that I'd have and pen forth, shall be much different to the ones that I might have sans baby.

Well I don't care anymore.


Nunu at 7 days


Nunu at 2 months... doing what she does best!